Outside Fun

Kenna always asks me if she can go outside, so I love that I have a fenced in backyard so she can go back there while I do homework or housework. Her favorite things are the sidewalk chalk and of course bubbles. Maybe for Christmas I can get her one of those little Playschool playgrounds so she has something else to do out there.

No More Gold's

I quit Gold's last night because I'm done with putting up with my boss. It's normal having one or two people not being able to stand their boss, but when EVERYONE who works there can't stand her, you know there's a problem. Maybe one day when she either gets fired or quits, I'll go back. She was telling lies about my sister, who she's never even met; she's telling lies about the members, saying that they have a problem with the employees, when come to find out, they have a HUGE problem with her. Big enough problems that they call corporate on her. And she tells lies about the employees. I'd go into more detail, but it would take about an hour or two, and I still feel sick, so I'll spare you. In a nut shell, she belongs in the dumpster. I've even been told by members who work out there, that I should be the boss and not her. So has another girl that works there with me. Doesn't that say something? Jaime has already called me to tell me that members are sad that I've gone, but they totally understand. Nobody can stand her anymore. Sad.

So, if you know of a job opening that I can take MyKenna with me, let me know. :) I can do Friday afternoon's and Saturdays.

Sickness

So, I have what McKenna had. It took me about 3 hours to be able to even get out of bed yesturday morning. I pretty much just made it either to the bathroom or to the couch. And let's not even talk about food. Even the thought of it made me sick. I still haven't been able to eat anything today, but I'm at least sort of keeping down liquids. I've already missed school on Friday, and now I'm missing it today and I feel SO behind. Luckily, though, my English teacher said I could take the tests on Wednesday. Now I have 3 tests I have to take that day. Really not looking forward to it. Anyway, at least today I'm out of bed and walking around, even if I feel like garbage doing it. Hopefully by tomorrow I'll feel better enough to go to school.

Poor Kenna

Kenna's been sick the past few days and hasn't been able to hold anything in. She was up from 11:30 Thursday night until 3:30 a.m. Friday morning proving that statement. :( I don't think I've done so many loads of laundry in that short amount of time. I took her to the doctor yesturday, and he said to just keep an eye on her to see if she gets any worse. He swabbed her mouth also just to make sure she doesn't have strep. He came back in and said it's just a sore throat and sent us home. So we went to Target and spent the gift card on her that Rachel gave her for her birthday, (thanx Rach! she loved it!), got her some new clothes, and went home. About a 1/2 hour later, Kenna was sick again. About an hour after we got home, her doctor called back. He said that he left the strep test a little longer, and it became red after we left. So, yes, she has strep. Poor girl. He prescribed amoxicillin and something else to help with her nausea, which mom said would make her sleep, which it didn't, oh well. Thanks tho mom. :) But mom and dad were nice and picked up her meds because she had fallen to sleep and I didn't want to wake her up. She seems to be doing better today, although she does still have a fever. So far she's kept her breakfast down, so hopefully this weekend she'll be able to rest and feel better before Monday.

Update About the Panel

There were 4 of us that were on the panel: Kindell, who placed almost 18 years ago, a woman who, I'm sorry I don't remember her name, placed 10 years ago, me, who placed 15 months ago, and Heather, who placed 10 months ago. The timings are pretty broad, as you can tell. I can't say much of what happened, just because it's supposed to be kept between us birth mothers and all the couples that were there. (It was an agreement everyone made before the panel started). I can tell you, though, the Spirit was intensified by all the love and respect that everyone had for each other. We each were able to tell a little of our own story. One story broke everyone's hearts, one made everyone laugh, and the others brought tears, happy tears. These women are phenomenal for sharing their stories, but especially one in particular.
After our stories were told, questions were answered, and comments were made, we were able to all sit and talk for a bit before it was time to go. I knew one of the couple's there, and they have a little boy that is biological. They now have a 4 month old baby from a birth mother, and now their waiting this weekend to receive another from a young woman. They actually remind me a lot of Grant and Karen, and I'm really excited for them.
It also showed me what Adam and Betsy had to do when they were waiting. It was fun to be able to take a little peek into their part of the story.
I have no regrets on my decision for placing Maxwell, because I know that in the eternities we will all still be together forever. I love Adam and Betsy and I'm forever grateful to them for raising Max with so much love.

Birth Mother Panel

I guess this next Thursday I'm going to be on a panel at the old Dixie High seminary building for adoptive parents/birth parents. My counselor called me yesterday and asked if I would be a volunteer, and of course I jumped at the offer! From what she was saying, it's only a once a year thing, and they don't have very many volunteers do it. Basically there will be couples there that are considering adoption, as well as young women who are considering placing their children. So it'll be part educational and part emotional. They'll be asking me questions, personal questions, that I will be more than happy to answer. My counselor wants me to do it because she said that I have the perfect example of how open adoption can be for those who want it. She also said that there aren't very many out there that keep it going as good as we have been able to. So, of course, I told her yes. :) I'll also be speaking in high schools here pretty soon too. She gave my number to the woman that is in charge of it, and she said that she'll call me by tomorrow to let me know when she would like to meet up and get to know each other a little. She's an adoptive parent as well, and she has a great open adoption with her birth mothers too.

iPod, uPod

So, I finally caved in and got an iPod nano. It's the cutest thing that fits

into my pocket! I got it specifiacally for the drive up to the reunion,

but I've already decided that it's nice when I want a specific song to play

and I don't have to wait for the radio to play it.

I also got the t.v. screens that you can hook up to the back of my front

seats for Kenna so she won't be so bored and can watch her movies.

It's nice thinking of everything. :)

McKenna's Ber-fin-day

Kenna's birthday lasted all weekend! It started with her party on Saturday, which we played, ate some yummy food and hung out.

Adam, Betsy and Max came for the party. Max was

just a little tired from them being at the lake all day



Everyone had a try at the pinata, Jarom even

tried to hit it like a golf ball!

Kenna opened all her presents.
(she wasn't spoiled at all!)

They all went out with her new sidewalk chalk,
and yes, that is Nora's bumb.

The morning of her birthday, Sunday, she couldn't get enough
of her new Dora house. She's still playing with it pretty much non-stop!

Max and Kenna had fun playing with the BBQ Bubble Machine that Grammy
got for her. They have the same cheeks!

I just had to get a picture of him squatting!

McKenna took this picture. Natural talent?

Not the cutest picture, but I wanted one of all 3

Playing with Grammy's necklace

Hanging out w/Papa

She blew out the candle about 5 times before the birthday song was
even over!

Eating some cake w/her favorite Jarom

After a long 2 days and a belly full of sugar, she spent the ENTIRE night
in her bed for the first time in 2 months. :)

It was a good birthday.

Kenna's Party

McKenna's birthday party is this Saturday at 5:30... so for those of you who REALLY want to come and party it up St. George/Dora style, come on over! It's at my house and Adam, Betsy and Max will be there, and so will cake and ice cream. :) We're having a fiesta, so there will be a pinata, empenadas, toquitos and games. Come shake your booty (as Kenna calls it), and get sick on sugar!
btw-if anyone has any ideas on what I should get for my soon to be 3 year old, I would really appreciate it. I have no clue!

Classes, classes... so many classes

I can tell you already that math, english and CSI are going to kick my butt. Even though Kundalini Yoga did kick my butt tonight (I did have to take some pain reliever when I got home), the professor is freaking awesome and she's making it fun. It's also nice knowing how to erase the world out of my mind for 2 hours once a week and only focus on myself. :) Then I have my Managing Stress class that's also once a week... TOTALLY looking forward to that one! Let's just say that I'm going to have to say goodbye to my social life for the next 3 months, and the only reason that mom and dad will be seeing me is because I'm rushing Kenna in and out of their home. Also, the only reason Lee will be seeing me is because he's helping me either with Kenna so I can do my homework, or he's helping with my homework. What a nice guy. BTW-we did make up. (just in case you're accidently out of the loop.) I know it's been on and off, on and off... but he knows that I'm not rushing anything because of it, and we're having fun. Besides, it's his turn to sit on the side lines and wait for me to have time for him. Mom agreed. :)

Total Anxiety

Okay... so, here's the thing: School starts next week, and I'm taking half hard classes and half easy classes. So you'd think that I'd be completely cool with the whole thing, right? Well... today I noticed that I'm already freaking out a little bit that it starts, and also that I have to take math all over again. Not to mention that I've already failed this math class and I have to take it all over again.. then I have to take an english class that doesn't even count towards my credit for graduating. Can we say, "totally lame"? Plus... this might sound like i'm a total girl, which I am, but I'm also not at all close to the weight that I wanted to be at before school started again. Sad, I know! Anyway.. I'll keep you all updated on how it goes, although I don't think I'll be on the computer nearly as much once it starts. All the homework that I'm going to have, and keeping after Kenna is already going to take up 19 hours out of my day.
Anxiety stricken!!

NO MORE DIAPERS!

So, can you tell that I'm excited? For the past 3 days, McKenna has worn panties, and only has had 2 accidents. All day today, even at work and all through Costco, she didn't make one mistake!! It's so nice to say, "do you need to use the potty?" before we go anywhere, instead of having to check her diaper and changing it if it's wet. I can hear mom cheering because when school starts next week, she won't need to change Kenna's diapers anymore!!

Karen, you jealous? :)

Tag! You're It!

Four Places I go Over and Over:
1. Home
2. Gold's Gym
3. Mom's
4. Wal-Fart

Four people who email me regularly:
1. Dad (mostly forwards :P)
2. Adam and Betsy
3. Aunt Sue (always forwards)
4. junk mail

Four places I would rather be right now:
1. Ireland
2. Tuscany
3. Hawaii
4. Disneyland (which I'm going to this next year wether the fam goes with me or not!)

Four people I talk to on a regular basis:
1. McKenna
2. Mom
3. Lee
4. Incompetent and ignorant people at Gold's

Four of my favorite places to eat:
1. Bajio's
2. Subway
3. Home
4. Mom's (she makes the best)

Four people I tag:
1. Mitsy
2. Heather
3. Kenice
4. Karen P.

My Idol...

is Kaysha. I really look up to her. She is truly great.

New Postage For Mit

Mitsy said it's been too long for me to go with out writing a new post. So, here's one. To all who read this:
I like you.
I love you.
Love,
Ashley

Singing in the Rain... but not really

Mr. Z and Kenna posing in the rain
Don't you just love thier rain outfits?
Bat Z and Super Kenna

Today it stormed, and it was awesome! It was raining, lightning and thundering and it smelled so good! Kenna and I were outside and then Kaysha's kids came over and wanted us to go to their house and hang out. So we stayed outside for at least an hour just talking and enjoying the quiet before the school phaze starts up next week.

Major Ventage

I know everyone has bad days, bad weekends, or bad weeks... and it's kinda been that way for me this past week. Can I just say, boys are totally lame. I'm seriously thinking that I'm just not meant to be with anyone, and I'm accepting that I just might not get married. It's not worth the heartache, the frustration, the time or the energy to put everything you have into a relationship that you thought was going great for the most part, and then all of a sudden, the person that's in the relationship with you is scared of any type of commitment, and breaks up with you and says, "let's keep dating with out the b/f, g/f title". Excuse me? I just wasted 7 months and hundreds of kisses on someone who just wants to "date" and keep it at that? No thank you. I've been through enough these past 4 years to keep taking steps that just lead backward. I'm done. Guys are lame.
Period.
The End.

Kenna's Nose

The nurse asked if the teddy needed a hat too, and Kenna said yes.
Being such a big girl while waiting for the doctor.
After a 2 hour nap, she came and laid on the couch with me, and then passed out again!
Isn't she cute?

McKenna and I went to the surgical center this morning at 6:30 so that she could get her nose fixed so that it would stop causing nose bleeds. We went to the Dr. yesterday, which was really an appt. for me, and near the end of it, it turned towards Kenna. I went in to get my ears checked because I've had ear infections in both ears for nearly a year and 1/2, and my normal doctor didn't really know what to do for me, so it seemed. So I went to an ear, nose & throat doctor to get checked.. and he gave me some things to help. I then asked him a question that I thought I would get a simple answer for and then be out the door, but after 20 minutes of him checking McKenna's nose and me filling out paper work, we had set an appt. for her for the next morning to get her nose bleeding nostrils fixed. :( I was pretty much a nervous reck the rest of the day! Mostly just because they had to put her under in order to do the procedure.

Anyway, after an hour and 1/2, she was a little groggy from waking up and we were sent home. (Kenna was going to Grandma's and after dropping her off, I was headed to work.) The doctor told me ahead of time what they do, and he said that normally they'll only find one blood vessel that causes the nose bleeds, or often times they won't find any. They found 5 in hers. Needless to say, the nurses and the doctor all said that she set the bar for the other patients for that day because she did such a good job.

That's my girl!

Sleep Talking

Last night I was changing McKenna's diaper while she was sleeping so that she didn't soak the bed during the night. She usually wakes up just enough to lift her bumb so that I can put the diaper under her, but instead, she said in her sweet, tired little voice, "I like chocolate", with her eyes still closed!
I had to go to my room because I couldn't stop laughing! Whatever she was dreaming about, I'd love to have that one tonight!

Stupid DWFS

Finally, after waiting more than 2 months for the retarded DWFS people to sign a paper for me to get my medical insurance, I got my card this weekend. It seemed like every time they told me to hand something in and that would be the last thing I had to do, a week later they would tell me I have to do 5 more things. Then another week later, they claim that I never turned anything in! They're retarded, slow, and manipulative. But at least I finally got my card, (after numerous phone calls every week for the past month!)

I just can't wait until I can afford everything on my own. That'll be the day.

Another Day At Work

The other day at work, McKenna was playing with some of the "little people" toys we have and started to stuff them into her shirt. She was keeping them on the upper half of her torso, making sure none of them were around her stomach. One of the girls I work with asked her what she was doing, and she said, "It's a mommy shirt!"

I'd say she was about a B cup.

Kenna's Hair

I went to pick up McKenna last night from my parents house becuase my mom was extra nice and picked her up from my work. She was pretty ornry and tired, so I thought she'd fall asleep in the car for her, and of course, she didn't. When I got there, my mom had this embarrassed look on her face and said, "McKenna cut her hair." ??? WHAT!? She said that McKenna was cutting something and she was watching her closely from the kitchen and asked if she was done? McKenna said, "Not yet. I'm snapping my hair." Not exactly what she was expecting to hear! Luckily, though, it was just a tiny bit from her pony tail, maybe 20 hairs or so, and you can't really tell... as long as it's in a pony! At least she didn't wait until she was 3 to become a beautician. That's when I turned into one. (I have the picture to prove it!)

The Ways of Toddlers

Anyone who has kids can relate, I assure you. I woke up this morning and went into my family room to find some weird colored mess smeared all over my couch. I took a closer look at it, and it was raw sausage! I asked McKenna why she did it, and she said her 'tiger' did it. Now she's starting to do the blame game, which is something I wasn't looking forward to. I talked to her about it, and told her she needed to go to her room, which she did with out being sad or even screaming at me. It was nice! She even stayed there until I told her she was allowed to come out again. I called my mom to ask her what I should do about the fabric on the couch, and she said she'd come over and help me take it off the cushion and wash it. (she made the couch covers, that's why I called her.) So when McKenna came out, she said sorry and gave me a hug, then said, "I won't never do it never again, mommy." How could that not melt your heart? So now I get to go and buy a lock for the fridge... again. I had one, but she broke it. I'll just have to get a stronger one this time.

Parenting With Love and Logic

I was having a hard day last week, and my hormones were getting the best of me. For those of you who work with me, you know that my patience level isn't very high when that happens. I was talking to one of my friends about potty training McKenna, and how draining it is. She mentioned a book called Parenting With Love and Logic, and said she'd bring it to work with her the next day to let me borrow it. Can I just say, not only have I gotten more patience, but the way of thinking with how I word things to McKenna has changed already, and she's become a better listener and chooses the right choices that I give her! I'm still working on it, but usually I give her two choices: choice A (which is the better choice) or choice B (which is the not so better choice) and she does great! It basically helps you to teach your kids responsibility, and it's relieved stress already, on both her and myself. So what if it was written in the late 80's, and there's more books out there for todays kids? This one is working for me, and I would definatly recommend it to anyone who has kids and are at the their break of not having anymore patience.

5th of July

The fourth of July went all right. It started with Kenna and me going to the pool, which was awesome because we were the only ones there for about 1/2 hour. Then my friend and her little boy came and played.

Then later in the day, as some of you know, my bf and I decided to call it quits, but then he came to a bbq Kaysha was having w/me anyway. Weird, I know. So it was kind of an annoying night, and I wasn't in the mood to do anything. So randomly, the next night was more fun. I wasn't expecting to do anything, but my mom called me and asked me to meet her and Kaysha to get some food, and then we'd go back to her house and light the rest of the fireworks. Jarom met us at moms, he got dropped off by his "big brother", Jeremy, and he decided to stay and hang out for a bit. (did I mention he was hot?) Mitsy, you'd agree with me on this. Kaysha does. Anyway, that night was a lot more fun, less people+more family=more fun. Kenna kept covering her ears and getting a little scared, but for the most part, she was a big girl!